What Should I Expect During My First Month?

Nothing! I know that’s not what you thought I would say, but hear me out. There is a reason you should expect nothing, and it’s probably not what you might think. 

Expectation is the enemy of meditation. I cannot stress this enough–I want you to understand this deeply. As soon as you start to have expectations about what you might achieve, you cut yourself off at the knees. Whatever you’re after, whether it’s a bit of peace and tranquility for 15 to 20 minutes, the relief of depression, anxiety or addiction, or finally being able to declutter that busy and beautiful mind of yours, the key to achieving your goals is, paradoxically, to not reach for them. 

Having expectation for something is akin to wanting it. The wanting might be masked or subtle, but it’s always there, almost like an entitlement. This subtle grasping manifests as clinging, and as the way of the spiritual word goes, as soon as you try to cling to or grasp at something, you end up pushing it away. This pushing away creates more longing for the thing you’re trying to get, and you end up making the situation worse. 

Let me show you with an example… I’m really stressed and burnt out, and I’m told that meditation can help, I’ve heard that it will help me relax. So I start meditating and I bring with me the expectation that I will be relaxed afterwards. Because of this expectation, I sit there on my seat waiting to fall into this deep, relaxed state I’ve heard about. So I’m basically tensed up, waiting for my relaxation, and all I end up doing is pushing that state away. Now, because I didn’t get what I wanted out of the meditation I’m even more stressed!

Expect nothing and just trust in the process. People have been doing this for thousands of years and entire traditions and religions have been built around it. It does work. 

What this means in practice is come to your breath and be present. When you do this you automatically drop the expectations. You don’t have to try. This is how it works. 

That said, after you have been diligently sitting everyday for a few weeks or months you may well notice small changes in your life. For instance, people often report sleeping better, sometimes even after the first session. You may also notice that your memory improves as you become more present in the small moments of your life. This was one of the first things I noticed: I started remembering where I put things! People around you may also report that you seem a bit lighter, more easy-going, and you yourself may notice that you’re just a bit less wound up–things bother you less. If you keep diligently practicing, there will come a time when you ‘get it’ and it all makes sense. 

The truth is, almost anything can happen as your nervous system, body and mind become more in sync. Meditation helps people with whatever they’re going through. It might not be a silver bullet, but it is a silver tortoise. Above all, remember the paradox: having no expectations will deliver everything you’re looking for. 

For a wider overview of the benefits of meditation, check out this article.